fix not flux//

dirty confession: i'm a teacher and my ex had a teacher fantasy so i'd talk math formulas before we did the do and after a while I was curious so i said the quadratic formula in public and he automatically got a boner and we broke up because i thought it was really funny and wouldn't stop doing it from Anonymous

necromorph-slayinglovemachine:

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

HAHAHA this is gold


tuucker:

irisowl:

So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

Dr. Robert Evans

I looked it up

My dentist is Captain America’s dad

My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.

JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.


’That’s the problem with drinking,’ I thought, as I poured myself a drink. ‘If something bad happens, you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens, you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens, you drink to make something happen.’

— Charles Bukowski (via blackistheonlycolor)


Who told you
That the best part about you
Is your negative space?
Who told you
That your laugh lines
Are a burden?
Who told you
To say “I’m fine”
When someone asks you
How you’re really doing?
Who told you
That wet eyes
And tear filled cheeks
Are something to be
Ashamed of?

Pick yourself up.
Dust yourself off.
As long as I am breathing
I will not let you
Throw your soul
Into a waste compactor.
You are allowed to
Take up space and
Show emotion and
Finish your plate and
Forget your weight and
Smile your brightest and
Cry your hardest but
Do not give up.

THIS ISN’T YOUR HOME BUT YOU STILL BELONG HERE (2014) by Keaton Webb (via theboyiswild)